It was confirmed yesterday that Kevin Samuels, image consultant and online Youtube dating coach has passed away at the age of 56 in Atlanta, GA. His philosophy and methods went viral on Youtube and Instagram in the past 2 years after a Youtube video surfaced of him telling a woman that she was “average at best” in terms of the things she thought she brought to a relationship.

I am not here to promote or bash this man. I am also not here to dissect his message or lifestyle. However it is evident that he seeking to open the dialogue between black men and black woman in terms of what we need to do to self improve in all areas of our lives. It is also evident that a lot of healing needs to take place amongst ourselves mentally and spiritually. Our sisters have been hurt and offended by some good for nothing brothas and some brothas have been played by some trifling sisters. But when are we going to get to the point where we are talking with each other instead of at each other? Why allow outside “experts” to advise and direct us on what we should be doing for ourselves?

I appreciated the fact, in my brief time listening to Kevin Samuels, that he was not afraid to debate and speak his truth.I liked the fact that he preached self improvement for both men and woman. Truth hurts in our community partly because everyone wants to be the boss or lead in an relationship interaction. Nobody likes to be told, they can do something better or different than they originally planned.

At the end of the day, your worth as a person is not determined by your material possessions, the clothes you are wearing, or even who you know in your inner network. Its determined by being a child of God and as such He created both men and women with a purpose to build up one another and multiply on this Earth. We are a special people and too many people are led to believe that if you just have money and look the part that everything is ok. Money and gifts cannot make you happy, its just a tool. Another person cannot make you happy! We are designed to be in community, and as black people we are missing a real community and so our dating looks very scattered and broken at the moment. But to be fair, the dating market across all races and generations looks cloudy and dismal but not totally hopeless.


Life really is short. We need to come together and work together to fix our issues whether you are married , divorced, single, or widowed because no one else is going to do the work for us. The black dating market is already under attack subliminally on television and we should not be trying to add to the negative stereotypes shown in the Western media. We can and do have successful relationships and friendships. If a man or woman you are dating or courting is not congruent or consistent in word or deed, leave them alone! If a man or woman is not helping you get closer to God, leave them alone! If an open conversation between a man or woman is not “flowing” where you both don’t care about the time or space, then leave them alone! May Kevin Samuels rest in peace.


By esmq1

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